he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
