I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
