You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
