My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
