Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
