Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
