He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
