I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
