I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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