i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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