oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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