She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize