he thought i was a dude.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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