Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
