I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
