It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
