i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
