We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
