Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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