are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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