Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
