WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I yelled at your uterus for you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
