This girl is more easily done than said...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
not ubering you a puppy
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize