If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
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