Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
