I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
