we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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