so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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