After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
