I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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