the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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