I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
