Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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