Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
