you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Drunk is not a location!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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