Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
