a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
