i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
