Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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