I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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