i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
