Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
