wakey wakey hands off snakey
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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