i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
