He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
