my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I love you. Go after that dick
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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