My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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