I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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