i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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