Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize