I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
