its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
