can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
