he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
