he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
