But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
