Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
