I want to make a zoo with you.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
