He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
